Whispers Part 3: Backbiting

The appetite for backbiting is a disease of the heart and it is necessary to treat it. Backbiting, otherwise translated in Arabic as Gheeba, may seem trivial in action but is a cause of many believers to enter Jahannam. It is of grave importance for Muslims to understand what Gheeba is and how to avoid falling into this grievous sin.

What is backbiting?

Backbiting is to say (something) about someone in their absence which, should he hear it, would displease him/her, even if what has been said is true. Here are 5 Tips to help you quit Backbiting

What is slander?

Slandering is to say (something) about someone in their absence which, should he hear it, would displease him/her. The difference between backbiting and slandering is that the slanderer’s claims are untrue.

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Do you know what is backbiting?” The Companions said: “Allah and His Messenger know better.” Thereupon he ﷺ said, “Backbiting is talking about your (Muslim) brother in a manner which he dislikes.” It was said to him: “What if my (Muslim) brother is as I say.” He said, “If he is actually as you say, then that is backbiting; but if that is not in him, that is slandering.” (Sahih Muslim)

Here are 3 steps to stop slander from affecting you

Backbiting with the Eye, Hand or Gesture

Backbiting is not just that which is uttered by the tongue; indeed also by the eye, a gesture, the hand, or in writing – are all forbidden. Aishah, may God be pleased with her, says ‘I pointed to a short woman with my hand. The Messenger ﷺ said ‘You have backbit her’.

Listening to Backbiting

In the same manner as backbiting is prohibited, so is listening to it. Indeed, as some traditions indicate, the listener is like the backbiter in all the evil aspects, so much so that their act is a grave sin carrying an obligation to seek forgiveness from the victim. One day Abu Bakr and Umar, may God be pleased with them both, were walking together. One said to the other ‘So and so sleeps alot.’ Then they sought stew from the Messenger ﷺ. He ﷺ said ‘You have eaten the stew’. They both replied ‘We do not know what we ate’. He ﷺ said ‘You both have eaten the flesh of one of your brethren’. He included in this; one had spoken and the other had listened.

When is backbiting permitted?

Backbiting is forbidden and does not become permitted except when compelled by necessity. There are six excuses:

1. The first excuse is when complaining of injustice before a ruler or judge. This is lawful, as it is when seeking someone’s help. However, it is not permitted for the oppressed person to tell someone from whom there can be no help about the injustice of the oppressor.
2. The second excuse is that if one sees some corruption takes place, he informs someone able to enforce morality and stop it.
3. The third excuse is to request a religious decree, as when one says ‘My wife, husband, father etc does this to me’. Though it is better to say ‘What do you say if someone does this?’
4. The fourth excuse is to warn others of someone’s evil, such as when a person is a thief and people may place their confidence in that person. This also includes someone seeking a spouse in marriage, the informant knows that if he/she does not disclose the person’s defect, someone may be harmed.
5. The fifth excuse is that a person is well known by some epithet (relating to a physical defect) and become well known by that name and does not take offence. However, it is preferred that they be addressed by a more honourable name.
6. The sixth excuse is that the debauchery is open such as those unashamed of their heedlessness. Mentioning them is lawful.

Punishment of Backbiting

Anas, May Allah be pleased with him said: The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, ‘During the Mi`raj (the Night of Ascension), I saw a group of people who were scratching their chests and faces with their copper nails. I asked, `Who are these people, O Jibril عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَامُ?’ Jibril عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَامُ replied: `These are the people who ate the flesh of others (by backbiting) and trampled people’s honour.’ (Abu Dawud)

So when you’re in your next social gathering be reminded by the wise words of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ “Whoever believes in Allah and the last day, let him speak good or keep silent”. (Sahih)