“I thought about taking my hijab off, but I’m scared of what the community would say.”
This single, honest confession captures a silent struggle shared by countless Muslim women. The journey with hijab is deeply personal, yet it’s often lived out on a public stage, scrutinised by society, influenced by culture, and measured against the curated perfection of social media. It’s a path filled with moments of profound connection to Allah and periods of isolating doubt.
In a candid discussion on OnePath Network’s Confessions, a group of Muslim women sat down to voice these unspoken vulnerabilities. They shared raw, unfiltered experiences about why they chose to wear the hijab, why some removed it, and how they ultimately realigned their intentions to find peace and confidence. This post delves into their stories, offering solidarity, insight, and actionable advice for anyone navigating this complex journey.
The Core of the Struggle: Is Your “Why” for Allah?
Before addressing external pressures, the sisters emphasised the need to look inward. Is the hijab an act of cultural compliance, a form of social resistance, or a sincere act of worship? While resisting societal objectification is a valid and powerful aspect of hijab, the foundational intention must be rooted in pleasing Allah (SWT).
“The moment you align your intentions for why it is that you wear hijab, in that I am wearing the hijab solely and sincerely for the sake of Allah, everything else becomes easy. You don’t have to be in a constant state of explaining yourself.”
When the primary goal is to fulfil a divine command, the need for external validation fades. The hijab transforms from a battleground with the world into a source of inner peace and comfort. This spiritual alignment acts as an anchor, holding you steady against the storms of judgment and self-doubt.
Navigating a World of Expectations and Judgment
The internal “why” provides the strength to face the external challenges. The women in the discussion highlighted several key pressures that make the journey of struggling with hijab so difficult.
The Fear of Community Judgment
The fear of being judged by fellow Muslims is a significant burden. One sister shared that it took her an entire year of conversations, rationalisations, and seeking validation from friends and family before she took her hijab off. Looking back, she realised she was trying to justify a decision she knew in her heart was not right.
Interestingly, the friend who earned her deepest respect was the one who lovingly but firmly told her it was the wrong decision. This highlights the importance of a community that encourages closeness to Allah, rather than one that simply validates our desires.
The Influence of Social Media and the Quest for Validation
Social media creates a constant stream of comparison. Young Muslim women see influencers and peers receiving praise for their appearance, leading to a desire for the same validation.
- The Pressure to Conform: Seeing Western beauty standards celebrated can make a hijabi feel invisible or less beautiful.
- The Influencer Effect: When a Muslim influencer removes her hijab, it can normalise the act and plant seeds of doubt. As one sister pointed out, influencers have a responsibility, as their actions, whether recommending a product or making a religious decision, have a real impact on their followers.
The conversation turned to the Prophetic wisdom regarding sin. The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said, “All of my Ummah will be forgiven except for those who sin openly (publicise their sins).” (Sahih al-Bukhari). This serves as a powerful reminder about the responsibility that comes with a public platform.
Challenging Marriage and Beauty Stereotypes
One of the most hurtful misconceptions is that wearing a hijab makes a woman less desirable for marriage. Several women shared painful anecdotes:
- “Okay, well, you can’t really expect anyone good-looking to propose to you.”
- “You look too old in that hijab; you won’t get marriage proposals.”
These comments reduce a woman’s worth to her physical appearance and undermine her act of worship. However, the sisters reclaimed the narrative with a powerful shift in perspective. A woman who wears hijab for Allah trusts that He will grant her a spouse who loves and respects her for her faith and character. Her obedience to Allah is not a barrier to her blessings; it is the very key to unlocking them.
The Internal Journey: When the Hijab Comes Off
For some, the pressure becomes too much. One woman bravely shared why she removed her hijab in high school. It wasn’t about comfort; it was about guilt.
“I didn’t want the hijab to make me feel guilty when I was saying what I was saying or doing what I was doing… I wanted to take the hijab off to free me from that guilt. But the more fun I had, the more emptier I got.”
This powerful testimony reveals that removing the hijab is often a symptom of a deeper spiritual disconnect. Chasing worldly pleasures at the expense of one’s connection with Allah ultimately leads to an unfilled void. Her journey back to hijab was a journey back to herself and her Creator.
A Mother’s Legacy: Nurturing a Love for Hijab
How do we pass down a love for hijab to the next generation without it feeling like a burden? A mother in the group shared her approach:
- Lead with Love: Connect with your children first. A strong, loving relationship is the foundation for them to love what you love.
- Be the Example: “Children can only be what they can see.” When a daughter sees her mother wearing hijab with confidence and joy, she internalises it as something beautiful.
- Celebrate Small Steps: The mother shared a heartwarming story of her one-and-a-half-year-old daughter spontaneously putting a scarf on her head and trying to pray. These moments, nurtured with love, are where the seeds of faith are planted.
Actionable Advice for When You’re Struggling With Hijab
If you are finding your hijab journey difficult, you are not alone. Here is practical advice from women who have been there:
- Acknowledge the Struggle is Normal (and Beautiful). The struggle against your own desires (nafs) to please Allah is a noble one. It is a sign that you are striving. Recognise this as your test and ask Allah to make it easy for you.
- Reconnect with Your Intention. Constantly renew your “why.” Remind yourself that you are doing this for Allah, the One who loves you most. Study the lives of the great women of Islam to understand their sacrifices and draw strength from their stories.
- Curate Your Social Feed. Your social media is your modern-day environment. Unfollow accounts that make you feel insecure or question your faith. Follow inspiring creators who wear their hijab with confidence and share beneficial knowledge. Be intentional about what you consume.
- Surround Yourself with a Supportive Community. Find friends who uplift you and remind you of Allah. A true friend will support your connection to your faith, not encourage you to move away from it.
- Seek Knowledge. Many women start wearing hijab at a young age without fully understanding its purpose. It’s never too late to learn. Read the Quranic verses on modesty (e.g., Surah An-Nur, 24:31), study the Seerah, and listen to lectures to deepen your appreciation for this beautiful command.
Your Confidence Comes from Allah
The journey with hijab is not a straight line; it has peaks and valleys. It is a daily choice to prioritise obedience to Allah over the fleeting validation of the world. As one sister beautifully concluded, confidence with the hijab doesn’t come from the style or the colour.
“It just comes from your connection with Allah. If you want to love hijab, you need to love Allah more.”
Ultimately, wearing the hijab is an act of profound faith and trust. Trust that your worth is defined by your piety, not your appearance. Trust that Allah’s plan is perfect. And trust that in your struggle, you are seen, valued, and loved by Him.
FAQs
What Religion Wears Hijabs?
The hijab is primarily worn by Muslim women as a religious head covering, symbolising modesty and faith. While the hijab is a core part of Islamic dress, other cultures and religions have different types of head coverings, such as the mitpaḥat/tichel worn by Jewish women and various veils in Christianity, or the dupatta worn by some Hindu and Sikh women.
Do all muslim women wear Hijabs?
No, not all Muslim women wear a hijab, as it is a personal choice for many, and some are not able to choose. While many Muslim women choose to wear the hijab as an act of faith and identity, others do not. The decision varies based on personal beliefs, individual interpretation of religious texts, and the cultural and legal context of their country.
Why do muslim women cover their hair and wear Hijabs?
Muslim women cover their hair with a hijab based on Islamic teachings of modesty, privacy, and religious identity. The practice is rooted in the Quran, which instructs women to guard their modesty by covering their bodies and hair. For many, wearing the hijab is a personal choice that symbolises their connection to their faith, a commitment to a more modest lifestyle, and a way to be judged for their character rather than their appearance.