Three steps to stop slander from affecting you

It’s as though everyone loves Fitnah – whether it’s gossip, backbiting or slander. It adds excitement and drama to our lives and in all honesty, most people enjoy listening to it and spreading it around. However, it’s a whole lot different when we find out that the gossip and rumors being spread are about ourselves. It’s painful, hurtful and definitely something we don’t ever want to find out. Spreading gossip is no doubt sinful and it is, in fact, one of the reasons some people are punished in their graves as the Messenger of Allah ﷺ stated. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ passed by two new graves, and he said:

‘They are being punished, but they are not being punished for anything major. One of them was heedless about preventing urine from getting on his clothes, and the other used to walk about spreading malicious gossip.’ Sunan Ibn Majah (Sahih)

Nevertheless, if you do find yourself the victim of slander, here are three steps to diffuse the Fitnah before it erupts.

Ignore the rumors

The first thing to do when someone comes to you with gossip about yourself – is to brush it off. If someone has said something bad about you – don’t let it affect you – especially when it’s not true. Learn to ignore it. In fact, this advice is even more so important – for those that are hearing such gossip themselves. You have even more of an obligation to diffuse the situation by not spreading such gossip in the first place. If someone comes to you spreading gossip about someone else – let them know you’re not having it and rather try to protect your brothers’ or sisters’ reputation. Defend the honor of your brother – so that perhaps Allah will defend your honor on the Day of Resurrection. Abu Ad-Darda reported: The Prophet ﷺ said:

“Whoever defends the honor of his brother, then Allah will protect his face from the Hellfire on the Day of Resurrection.” Sunan Al-Tirmidhi (Hassan)

Thank Allah

The second thing to do for those who have been victims of slander and rumors is to use such opportunities to thank Allah. Yes, thank Allah. The truth is we all have mistakes and sins that we are guilty of that Allah has kept hidden. You should thank Allah for hiding these sins and instead of making this person busy with the sins you are completely free from. In fact, you should not only thank Allah – but you should be happy someone is slandering you. Why? Well because every time someone slanders you – they are gifting you their good deeds. The truth is – Allah is rewarding you and elevating your rank every time this happens. You should be happy at such a thought.

Make Duaa for the haters

The third and final thing to do is to make Duaa for the brother or sister that backbit you or slandered you – not that Allah destroys him or her. But that Allah blesses him and guides him. After all, they have gifted you their good deeds, let your Duaa be a returning gift for them. You should feel sorry for them, Allah is obviously displeased with such people’s actions, maybe your Duaa can help them change. This is in line with the Sunnah of our beloved Messenger, Muhammad ﷺ who made Duaa for the very people who hurt him and his loved ones. This is also according to the character of the Prophets before him as well, as shown in the below narration.

“It is as if I can see the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), telling us the story of one of the Prophets: ‘His people beat him, and he was wiping the blood from his face and saying: “O Lord forgive my people, for they do not know.’” Sahih Bukhari

It is also narrated that Ibrahim Ibn Adham was once attacked by his people, to which he then proceeded to make Duaa for their forgiveness. When he was asked why he would make Duaa for them, he responded by saying, “I learned that I was rewarded because of their actions and I disliked for them to be punished for this.” May Allah protect our honor in this life and the next and protect us from slander, gossip, and rumors.