This is how to have a Blessed MarriageWhen the husband of Umm Salamah, may Allah be pleased with her, tragically passed away, she made the Duaa we are taught to make at the time of tribulation; and that is:
اللَّهُمَّ أْجُرْنِي فِي مُصِيبَتِي وَأَعْقِبْنِي خَيْرًا مِنْهَا
“Oh Allah reward me for my calamity and replace me with something better”.
However upon making this supplication, she was left quite intrigued and responded by saying:
وَمَنْ خَيْرٌ مِنْ أَبِي سَلَمَةَ
“And who is better than Abu Salamah?”The truth was, she honestly could not believe that there was anyone better than her husband. Now, of course, we all know that she went on to marry the Prophet of Allah, Muhammad ﷺ and he was indeed far greater than any other man. But the point we need to establish is that she genuinely did not think anyone was better than her husband. And this is a key point for all Muslim couples to take home. The fact of the matter is, the reason why she thought there was no one better than her husband; was because he lived by the clear Quranic principle:
And live with them in kindness
Quran 4:19A clear injunction to both men and women to live with one another in kindness and respect. This is the founding principle of Islamic marriages and the key reason that would make couples realise that they are to one another the best possible spouse. The Prophet ﷺ understood love and marriage more than any other human. The perfection of character that he ﷺ displayed specifically within a marriage is greatly beneficial to study to enhance our own marriage and ensure they are blessed. He ﷺ said:
خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِهِ، وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِي
“The best among you is he who is the best with his family. Verily, I am the best one among you with my family.” (Tirmidhi)It was the practice of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ to be kind, cheerful, playful with his wives, compassionate, spending on them and laughing with them. The Messenger used to race with with his wife Aishah, the Mother of the believers, as a means of playfulness with her. Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said:
“The Messenger of Allah raced with me and I won the race. This occurred before I gained weight, and afterwards I raced with him again, and he won that race.” (Sunan Abi Dawud)To read more about the prophetic approach to having a blessed marriage, read this: Seven tips from the Sunnah on how to make your wife happy.